Excerpts from the New Hampshire Debates

Gibson: How would you handle nuclear proliferation, in regards to terrorist cells residing within Pakistan?

Obama: I believe that we should blow Pakistanis to hell.

Edwards: I second that, I believe that we should blow Pakistanis to hell.

Richardson: I think that first we should use diplomacy. There is a provision within the Pakistani constitution that would provide safety to everyone in the world. Also, we need to have real, actionable intelligence before starting any military campaign.

Clinton: I believe that we should get actionable intelligence, so we know who we are blowing to hell.



Gibson: Has the current surge in Iraq worked?

Clinton: I hate Bush. Within 60 days we will be out of Iraq.

Richardson: I think before I speak. I hate Bush. Within a year we will be out of Iraq in order to focus on helping Americans.

Obama: I hate Bush. I speak in generalities. We will get out of Iraq sometime.

Edwards: I hate bush. We will gradually get out of Iraq.



Gibson: How do you want the American people to perceive you?

Democrats: We can joke with each other like adorable care bears. Then we attack each other like verbally abusive bears .

All Republicans except Ron Paul: We attack each other.

Ron Paul: Are you as bored as I am with these self-appointed leaders talking over each other without saying anything relevant? I mean, they are not even discussing how economics is intrinsically involved with the issue of immigration. I am going to spin in my chair now. (Spins)

All Republicans except Ron Paul: Oh yeah! Well, we attack each other more!