Evolution of the Romance/Exploitation Film Genre

The Sheik (1921)
Rudolph Rapistino is an Arab Gang Leader of Arabia, the “land where civilization has so happily passed them by.” Girl Who Is Asking For It pretends to be a hooker, primarily for kicks and giggles. Rudolph Rapistino uses the old “rape a girl so she will fall in love with you” trick. Later, Girl Who Is Asking For It inadvertently reveals her love for Rudolph Rapistino in the most melodramatic-silent-era way before she is captured by rapists who she can not love because they are Arabic. Rudolph Rapistino saves the day. Rapistino and Asking For It live happily ever after, because Rapistino was in fact obviously white and was just raised by the Arabs, in the vein of Mowgli being raised by Bagheera and Baloo in Rudyard Kipling’s The Jungle Book.


The Wild One (1954)
Motorcycling Douchebags trash a small town. Marlon Douchebag wants to sleep with Girl Whose Only Crime Is Her Aversion Of Being Raped. As the night progresses, the Motorcycling Douchebags act more and more like aging gays in a leather bar. Marlon Douchebag cannot sleep with Girl Whose Only Crime Is Her Aversion Of Being Raped, because she speaks English instead of Jive and treats the elderly with respect instead of killing them. An Old Man dies. The Douchebags leave, but not before Marlon Douchebag leaves behind a stolen trinket in order for Girl Whose Only Crime Is Her Aversion Of Being Raped can be reassured that she made the right choice in not being raped.


Knocked Up (2007)
Apotow’s Pothead Friends go to the amusement park, despite the fact that they have no income and that shit don’t come cheap. Katherine Bad Luck gets promoted, and unfortunately this leads to a confluence of events which ruins her life. 1) Katherine Bad Luck is happy. 2) Katherine Bad Luck gets drunk. 3) Katherine Bad Luck ends up sleeping with Seth Pothead. 4) Katherine Bad Luck gets Knocked Up. Seth Pothead makes Jew jokes. The audience feels sorry for Katherine, and really wants her to abort it. Plot demands prevent her from doing so. Women have boobies. Potheads have pot. Apotow’s wife has constipation. Katherine Bad Luck has the baby, and sorta kinda tries to raise the baby with Seth Pothead. Much like statistically similar couples from all regions of the United States, they inevitably divorce two to three years later when the novelty of producing a financial parasite loses its luster. The audience learns that they really liked Juno.

Photo Display of the Evolution of the Romance/Exploitation Film Genre

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Out of Context Quote of Myself During Philosophy Class Last Thursday

"It's not like when little Billy asks how babies are born that you pop in porno and say, 'This is where you put the PENIS in and you KEEP ON A ROCKIN' ' "

Emphasis added by me while I said it.
And yes, I am that kid. Shame does not exist in me.

LOST

The reason for my existence is back. Lost premiered last thursday after making the fans wait for eight months. Was it worth the wait? Completely.

People ask me why I would like the show, since it primarily exists to turn the audience's expressions into the one Desmond is wearing up there.

This episode focused on Hurley, one of my favorites since his romance with Libby during the second season. Libby was pretty. Libby was into psychology. Libby was into fat men.

To reiterate: Libby was perfect.

But then she was used as a plot device, which makes me scream out loud every time I see the relevant episode. But I digress.

What you need to know: Lost is awesome. You should be watching it. It is allright if you don't get everything, because it is a MYSTERY show. Be mystified and enjoy the experience.

So this thursday night stop everything you are doing to watch the show. It doesn't matter if you are at work, studying, taking care of babies, driving, etc. Stop what you are doing and watch the show.

It's worth it.