End of the Semester Observations

I. I go to a commuter (read: cheap) school that was no one’s first choice. Everyone’s aware of this fact which leads to an interesting phenomenon:

A. People wear the hoodies of school they wished they were at, not of the school they attend.
1. Again, I go to a commuter (read: cheap) school. Everyone is working either full-time or 34.916667 hours of part-time work to pay our way through. Our parents don’t have trust funds or bank accounts per se that fund our educational endeavors.
i. And yes, my last employer prohibited me from working the last five minutes a week so they wouldn’t have to pay for dental.
ii. No, I am not bitter.
iii. I intentionally use double negatives.
2. However, I pass by at least ten Purdue sweatshirts by the time I arrive fifteen minutes late to my first class.
i. The first Purdue I saw, I slyly stated “Nice shirt” and used it as a window for flirtation.
ii. Turns out we had a lot in common. We were both transfer students working the 34.16667 hours a week on top of 15 credit hours of school that combined form into a monstrous devil that slays social lives.
iii. But now, the shirts are just irritating.
iv. I try to ignore the logos, but there is nothing quite as grating as the people around you not valuing what they do. We are students. We are learning. Be proud of the institution that is enabling you to grow into a better person and receive a salary you don’t deserve in four years.

B. Today was the last day of the semester prior to finals week.
1. In my 200 person Physics course I counted the dozens who enter the class that I didn’t recognize. I lost count as the Herd of Those Who Only Attend on Test Day entered.
i. It’s comforting to know that I could have established a relationship with all of them if we didn’t all work 34.916667 hours a week.
ii. No, I am not bitter.
2. In my 40 person Literature as Art course, the girl who sits next to me has her entire school paid for by financial aid because she got knocked up last year. I would be jealous but…
i. I pretty sure she’s not going to graduate
ii. And I have a feeling that her kid won’t, either.
3. I took my Humanities final today, because I am being taught by a grad student and he is the second coming of Buddha.
i. Reason why he is the second coming of Buddha #1: He let us write open ended research papers, which allowed us to relate the works to our lives.
ii. Reason why he is the second coming of Buddha #2: He let us write as much as we wanted, and determined the total worth of the paper by the page count which the students had complete creative control over.
iii. Consequently I wrote a mountain of moderately above average papers with ridiculously long page counts.
iv. Therefore, I only needed to get 16 points out of the 60 point final to get an A.

C. Life is good.

D. I probably should be paying attention to the lecture right now.