Drunk Dialer: Miss Piggy

Justin: Piggy! Piggy!

Miss Piggy: Yes, this is moi. To whom am I speaking?

Justin: Piggy! It’s me! Justin!

Miss Piggy: Oh, brother. You wouldn’t happen to be completely wasted, would you?

J: Yes!! How’d you guess?

MP: What other times do you call me?

J: Uhh… umm… When I want money?

MP: True. Is that why you called?

J: No! I called because I’m lonely!

MP: Look fellah, I don’t have time for this. I’m a busy pig.

J: Hey, Piggy! Remember the old times!

MP: Unfortunately.

J: Remember the times when I was lonely, and you were lonely, and we were drunk?

MP: Justin! I certainly do not!

J: Oh. Remember the times when I was lonely, and you were lonely, and you were drunk?

MP: I don’t deserve this kind of treatment! Hii-yaah!

J: Oww!! Did you just hit me over the phone?

MP: I’m that good, baby.
[Hangs up]