01 April 2008

Notes From My 8AM Chem Class!

Pure substance - matter that cannot be separated into other kinds if matter by any physical process. Element – substance that cannot be broken down by any chemical reaction into simpler substances. Atom – every five minutes of my class, a part of my soul dies. Why am I punishing myself? Please someone, anyone, just kill me now. Just kill me now. No one’s killed me yet. Damn it.



Significant figures 1. All non-zero digits 2. all zeros between non- zero digits 3. ending zeros to right of decimal and non-zero digits 4. zeros at the beginning are NOT significant 5. ending zeros in number without decimal may or may not be significant 6. Oh my god, this never ends. Is it time to leave yet? Oh, it is still the first ten minutes of class. Damn it. That girl just left. Is it time to leave yet? Oh, she is just taking a call. That’s pretty rude. I should pretend to take a call and just leave. Oh, I’ve got an emergency call, I must take my backpack to answer it, I’ll say. This is very important, my mother’s dieing, I’ll say. She needs my backpack, I’ll say. Yes my mother was dieing last time, I do have more than one mother and they are all dieing, I’ll say. That’s right, and my last mother died while I was tying to leave Chem class thanks for fucking bringing it up, I’ll say. You should be sorry, I’ll say.

No, wait, better idea: I’ll have someone call me so I don’t have to make a beeping noise of pretend I’m being vibrated. Pretending to being vibrated is pretty funny, lol.

Wait, did I just laugh out loud?

Did anyone notice me? I should try to inconspicuously look around.

Okay, here I go.



I am positive that there is no way to inconspicuously look around a blank lecture hall. I guess I can pretend that I am really, really interested in the bland walls. It is statistically more probable to be interested in bland walls than to be interested in chemistry. Okay, here I go.



Oh my god, It looks like they are watching home videos from Auschwitz. I couldn’t have laughed, because all positive emotions are nullified be the abyss that is 8:00 AM Chem 101 in Forum Hall 103. I think looking at their faces made my day worse. Seriously, I feel awful. Like I’m vomiting poop. Like someone kicked my puppy, and by kicked I mean skewered and by puppy I mean my penis. I probably should be taking actual notes.



1in = 2.54 cm. 1 lb = 453.6 g. 1 cm3 = Why am I punishing myself? Please someone, anyone, just kill me now. Just kill me now. No one’s killed me yet. Damn it.

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