Garden of Weeds

Life is like a garden. There are flowers that you really want to grow to be beautiful, so you can look at them and bask in the glory of your accomplishments. But grass keeps popping up to kill your flowers.


So you weed the grass, which just facilitates the growth of even more grass. The grass keeps growing and growing and your flowers keep dying and dying until the grass has completely overrun your garden. Eventually you give in and try to tell yourself that your garden isn’t that bad. But not so deep down you know the undeniable truth and accept it. The grass is ugly. Your garden is ugly.


You are ugly.


And your neighbors stare at the scene that has become of your garden. So you stare back, drop your Budweiser, raise your middle finger, and shout, “That’s right! I’m masturbating on my front yard! There’s nothing wrong with it! This is beautiful! Beautiful!” Then you lay back, pull up your pants, and fall gradually into unconsciousness in the middle of your garden of weeds.